In this episode, Lance reminds us of the necessary skills for managing conflict in a way that benefits all involved. False harmony is a mud-puddle created by mistrust and unmet expectations. Check out this episode to learn how to avoid this mud-puddle and a build a genuine, unified team.

Notes:

What do I mean by leadership?

• Within the Gateway context, leadership is - “developing culture and people through relationship, with integrity”.

• John Maxwell calls leadership as “influence”.

• Jim Collins says, “Leadership only exists if people follow when they would otherwise have the freedom to not follow.”

Dave Kraft says, “Constructive conflict is difficult, but essential for healthy teams, ministries, small group and organizations.”

Ephesians 4:15, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

How often do we speak the truth in love to benefit ourselves? To make us feel better?

How have we learned conflict?

1. Conflict learned through our upbringing.

2. Conflict learned through our wounding/trauma.

3. Conflict learned through observation.

4. Conflict learned through proper and helpful training.

Here are a few suggestions from Dave Kraft that I believe will help us in this area of conflict:

1. Make a commitment before the Lord to face and deal honestly, lovingly, sensitively and decisively with conflict.

2. Get all the facts.

3. Be prepared to confess and ask for forgiveness for your part.

4. Do it privately.

5. Maintain a humble heart.

Listen here to “Conflict and the Beauty of Human Relationships” — Episodes 15-18

A Prayer:

Jesus, I confess that many times I am a coward when it comes to dealing biblically with conflict. I admit that it is difficult to trust you with the outcomes of speaking the truth in love. Please help me, by your Spirit, to be more interested in what you think than about what others may think if I choose to engage in necessary confrontations. Give me Holy Spirit boldness to speak out. Amen.

Show Notes Bonus:

From Chapter 7 of Dave Kraft’s book, “Mistakes Leaders Make”, here are four follow up thoughts:

1. Identify a person you have avoided because you have refused to talk honestly with him or her about issues.

2. By when will you talk to the person you identified above?

3. What issue or problem in your team, group or church needs to be faced head-on and dealt with for the sake of the gospel?

4. What will you do, with God’s help, to come alongside others and help them grow in being courageous?

Resources: Mistake Leaders Make by Dave Kraft

Credits: Music - Pumpkin Spice by Audiobinger -- freemusicarchive.org