I've been in the people business since I was 16. Yes, I said 16. I worked in restaurants as a teenager. I delivered auto parts to local mechanic shops. I worked in a men's clothing store, helping gentleman discover their style and buy the obligatory funeral suit. I've been in sales, real estate, and landscaping. Since 1998, I've been a full-time employee in the church world, an associate pastor in two churches, and now a lead pastor since 2013. In 35+ years of working with people, I have learned that no one is perfect and everyone needs space to grow. Mature love knows space is necessary for growth. Therefore, how do we give space for others to flourish without compromising responsibility, accountability, and boundaries? Here are some proven suggestions:

1. Remember, you are growing. What do each of us need to flourish? Let's offer that same kind of patience, understanding, support, and challenge to others. 

2. Relationally practice the 5 C's of Spiritual Companionship. Celebrate what you love and admire about the other. Care for them by staying attentive to their life journey and needs. Care for them with compassion and generosity. Coach them. Coaching is "Listen well; Ask, don't tell." Learn how to listen deeply, be emotionally present, reflect on what you hear the other person saying, and ask open-ended, curious questions to help another person discover and experience something helpful. Contribute something valuable to their life. Love wants to add value to another. The contribution may be the encouraging word, the caring act, or the listening ear. It may be offering a book, buying a meal, taking someone for coffee, etc. Challenge a person to be who they really are. No one becomes who they are called to be without a meaningful friendship or relationship. (Celebrate, Care, Coach, Contribute, Challenge)

3. Be patient with others without excusing irresponsible or hurtful behavior, attitudes, etc.  

4. Clarify expectations by utilizing this process: Be aware of your expectations. Make them realistic. Verbalize them. Agree upon them. 

5. Pray for them. Over and over again, the Bible clarifies that each follower of Jesus is in a sanctifying process. Personally, I don't believe this applies to only Jesus' followers. Life has a way of enrolling all of us into the "School of Development and Growth."

6. Learn how to resolve conflict and confront with a redemptive and growth purpose instead of a destructive verbal war. (I frequently discuss this topic in my leadership podcast here.)

We can contribute to another's flourishing and success or their demise and failure. Let's be the kind of people that others invite into their mess because they know they will receive what they need to grow and mature. Remember, the only ones immune from the process are dead, so if you are breathing, you are in a growth cycle. 

Photo from: Alejandro Escamilla on Unsplash